Happiness

by Annamaria Gnaccarini

Born in Italy but brought up as British. Mother, lover, dreamer (of becoming a writer of course!)

She walked down the aisle on her father’s side.

It was a late summer’s afternoon and the Romanic Church was full of friends and guests. All the benches were decorated with white lilies and in the background a violin played.

They were a beautiful couple, her in a cream short dress with a long train, him in a Romeo Gigli suit. They were the perfect picture of happiness. So why was she asking herself“Why am I doing this?”

She knew exactly why she was doing it. Not for love. Nor for money. She only wanted what she had always wanted: a family. She wanted to be surrounded by children, laughter and love. She wanted to feel safe……to fulfill her idea of happiness.

She had thought that love would come in time. That being good friends would be better than being in love, that lust would disappear after a few years.  Friendship would last the test of time. So many thoughts, so many lies she told herself.

She still remembered the night when she had written that list. Good points and bad points of the two men in her life. The safe option and the courageous one. And now the choice was made. Definite. “Till death doth us part”. Her vows were a serious commitment. They were for life.

She would try to be good, keeping away from that temptation. Later she moved a long way away. But love doesn’t die because of distance. Real love never dies.

Now after so many years she still wondered who was the biggest deceiver: the one who lied or the one who pretended not to know?

It is ironic how sometimes you might be lucky enough to get what you want.